Štěpán Roh

Alive But Sleepy

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Sunday, February 27, 2005

Playing Sports Is Like Getting High For Free

by Štěpán Roh

There are good decisions and bad decisions. You may guess what kind of decision is to play sports. At first it looks good: you'll get more healthier, your fat ass will hopefully shrink and thanks to endorphines you'll get high for free. Unfortunately with sports it's like with high school. The only things you remember are the good ones. The bad ones like when you got locked by footballers inside the locker, naked of course, are hard to recall.

So today after spending six months in front of the computer I took my hockey-stick out of the closet and went to play floorball. Floorball is like ice-hockey, but without the ice and bodychecks. In theory it is contact-free, but that does not explain the bruise I have on my thigh. And my arm. And my back too. It is also played with a ball which is very light, but when struck it hits very hard. Oh, that explains that one bruise, I guess.

There is one interesting thing about floorball: it is played inside the inflatable hall. It is lot of fun to open both inside and outside doors and watch lights coming from the top towards you. Or better someone else. That's real fun. The inflatable hall has one disadvantage though: the temperature inside is the same as outside. And when it is below zero (in Celsius) and you forgot warm underwear like I did your balls have hard times. Not to mention the excellent opportunity for flu epidemic to finally find you.

So I got hit by the ball, froze my own private parts and what else... Oh yes, there is that moment when I realized that sitting on my ass for half a year ruined my entire physique. That moment came after five minutes of play. My vision got blurred, my knees hurt and I wanted to show everyone what I had for lunch. Luckily for my friends, I did not and somehow survived next 85 minutes. Yes, we play for an hour and half because we play it for fun! And want to die young.

And I missed the endorphines part. No wonder, because my team lost. As usual.

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